


The Proposal

by emeraldcitydowntowngirl



Series: Eccentric Times At Barrington High [3]
Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, Halsey (Musician), Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reality Show, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Cheesiness, Coldplay, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Multi, Pregnancy Scares, i cant believe im doing this, ok you'll see, well in the sense that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-22 13:51:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8287978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emeraldcitydowntowngirl/pseuds/emeraldcitydowntowngirl
Summary: In which Ashley sorta gets an opportunity to open for Coldplay (like... THE BAND Coldplay. Like the British rock band formed in 1996, Coldplay), Ryan sorta fails at his one and only job, Vicky sorta has a pregnancy scare, Patrick sorta has a third eye, and Pete definitely wants to ask Patrick to marry him....and the cameramen still most definitely don't want to film these people anymore.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [emichacha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/emichacha/gifts).



> SO fromunderthestumptree1 left a request for a proposal between pete and patrick and i kinda went a little crazy with it... 11.5k words too crazy. lol. but i hope that you enjoy it, pal! i promised i'd have it by the end of the month and... it's legit the last day of the month. so i guess i kept my promise!
> 
> this was WAY too sappy but ya know. whatevs.

( _The camera pans the music department room- Patrick, Pete, Ryan, and Vicky are all sitting around the table. Vicky, Brendon, and Gabe are gossiping about someone down in the Social Studies department, Ryan’s got his headphones in and he’s reading ‘Viva Coldplay: A Biography’, and Pete and Patrick are both occupied with work)_

“So…” Pete begins to say to Patrick, putting down his copy of ‘Fahrenheit 451’- colorful Post-It notes stick out from almost every page. He also looks super guilty, but Patrick can't notice because his nose is still buried in his papers. The camera zooms in on a test, where Patrick wrote ' _F- Good effort, though...'_ "You're gonna kill me."

He winces when Patrick looks up from his papers and blinks at him. “Am I?” He asks, and he puts down his red pen- this means business.

Vicky, Brendon, and Gabe all stop mid-conversation to look over to the both of them- things have become so boring ever since Pete and Patrick actually got together. Like… the drama kept things lively, as shitty as that sounds. Now that William left the school and now that Ryan and Brendon were together, nothing much has been going on. Like. At all. 

( _FOOTAGE: Everyone sitting around in the office during a time-lapse. The only thing that changes is their outfits, but besides that, they all look at papers with bored expressions on their faces... except for Ryan, who's always on his phone, presumably reading Coldplay fanfics)_

“Well, you see, Ryan said that he needed help with teaching commas... so... he wanted me to come over... to teach him commas. Yeah." He says, a little hesitantly. Brendon gasps, next to him, and says in a scandalized voice, “OH ~~SHIT~~! HE JUST CAME FOR RYAN’S COMMA SKILLS! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!”

Ryan looks up from reading his book and he pulls out an earphone, “Huh?” “Babe, Pete just came for your comma skills. Wow. Catch the ~~motherfucking~~ tea on that.”

“There’s no t- okay, whatever, anyways- Right, Ryan? You needed help with the commas?” Pete asks, sounding a little more desperate, and he blinks expectantly at Ryan when Ryan looks over to him confused. “Wha- Oh! Oh yeah. The commas. Right.” and then he looks to Patrick and says in a monotone voice, “I need help with commas. I never know when to use them, and when I do, I never know when to stop. It's a curse.”

“Yeah, the commas. So, um, imightbealittlelate?” Pete blurts the rest of his sentence and Gabe yells, “OOOOOO, whatcha gonna do about that, Patrick!”

\---

GABE: I’m bored, okay?! Without Bill here, I literally have nothing to do.

VICKY: I was willing to fake a pregnancy just to stir up some drama... I'm so ~~fucking~~ bored. And I know that this is politically incorrect on so many levels, but we need another teacher-student relationship to spice things up. 

BRENDON: Without drama… who am I?

\---

“Nothing.” Patrick turns his head to glare at Gabe a little, before he turns back to Pete and he gives him a softer smile, “It’s fine, you don’t have to… like, I’m not, _you’re allowed to go out._ ” and then he says in a more joking manner, “Even though you’re making my life difficult because I have to put the chicken back in the freezer since I’m not definitely not cooking past 7.”

“I’ll buy you something- Thai? I can bring Thai on the way home.” “Mmm, god yes. I love you.” “I love you, too.” And then they lean over to kiss, (Brendon leans in a little closer, and when they pull away within a couple of seconds, Brendon falls back into his seat, looking bummed out, like he expected a full blown make out session).

And then they get back to their work.

“Wow,” Gabe says, shaking his head once he realizes that that's the end of that. “The most drama in my life so far is Patrick having to put back ~~fucking~~ chicken in the freezer because he doesn’t wanna cook. Why is this my life?”

“Same.” Vicky says, sighing and she adds, “You’re not even gonna slap him across the face for making you put in all of that effort? Having to… to walk back to the freezer, having to put that thawed chicken back in there? For having to endure the blast of coldness from the freezer? For knowing that the one you love is out of your reach? You’re not even gonna yell at him?”

Patrick sends them an exasperated look, before he turns to Pete and sighs, “ _Fine_. I’m only gonna let you go out if you help me grade the rest of my papers.”

“OOOOOOOOO, Patrick really did that!” Gabe exclaims- no one really pays attention to him. Pete slides his seat closer to Patrick’s, and he takes half of the remaining pile, “Your wish is my command.” He says, and he presses a kiss to Patrick’s cheek, before smiling when Patrick leans into his side, and says, "Remember- you have to write good effort on all of them and put stars on them, because I don't want them to feel like total dumbasses even though they are. Like, I get the sharp symbol looking like a hashtag, but you'd think that this being a music class-"

Brendon, Gabe, and Vicky look at them and roll their eyes, before going back to week-old drama. And Ryan continues to read.

\---

PETE: Okay, so I was lying. I’m not actually going to Ryan’s- Ryan’s just the person I trust the most out of all my friends, because… well everyone talks about everyone, and Ryan only gives a ~~shit~~ about Coldplay. Anyways… uh… ( _starts smiling_ ) I’m actually going out to look for a ring. For Patrick.

PATRICK: I don’t want to be that boyfriend, that annoying, nagging boyfriend that keeps their significant other on a leash. But… I don’t know. I trust Pete. I really trust Pete, okay? But he’s been going out a lot, and I don’t know. I don’t know. I’m being paranoid, right?! He wouldn't... cheat on me... Oh my God, I need to get the thought of Pete and Mikey ~~fucking~~ out of my mind ( _pretends to gag, but then he actually does_ ) That's just so disgusting. Like... ugh. Ugh!

PETE: And it’s been taking a while because, y’know, it’s a simple band. But I don’t want it to be a shitty simple band, I want it to be something special. Because… well, Patrick’s special. Also I have no money so… something simple, special, and _cheap_. But it can't look cheap... do you see my dilemma here?

\---

( _IN THE NEW YORK APARTMENT- Ashley and William are hanging out in the living room- she’s sitting criss-cross-apple-sauce style in front of her keyboard, and William’s doing homework_ )

“-and, like, I was thinking of doing red? But red soooo isn’t my color, and my second gig is next week, I wanna do something new for all 8 of my fans.” Ashley says, totally not working on her song. “But on the other hand, I’m thinking of doing something gray-ish-silvery. Can you see me with gray hair? Are you even listening to me?”

\---

WILLIAM: Nope.

\---

“Yeah, totally! Gray hair! It’s, um. Cool.” William says, talking to his Chemistry textbook. He’s on his knees, by the coffee table, surrounded by cups of cold tea, and there are these deep bags under his eyes that could only come from cramming for tests. His hair is pulled up into a bun, and his glasses slide down his nose. 

“Bilvy, I know you’re mega stressed about midterms but… you need a break. Come on, help me dye my hair!” Ashley exclaims, pulling herself up from her position to sit on the couch near Bill. 

“So you want me to take a break… but not a break for me… you want me to take a break for you?” William asks, still talking to his textbook. At this point, it doesn’t even look like anything- it’s just a mess of William’s messy handwriting and annotations in the margins. It’s sort of similar to Ashley’s music, except her annotations are stuff like ‘ ** _THIS IS OBVIOUSLY ABOUT ADAM T. SISKA! MAKE THIS MORE VAGUE SO THAT WHEN HE HEARS IT HE DOESN'T ASSUME I'M NOT OVER HIM EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT I MISS HIM SO MUCH I MISS HIS CURLY HAIR AND HIS SMILE AND HIS WEIRD HATRED FOR THAT ONE WINNIE THE POOH MOVIE'_**  in bright purple highlighter.

“Well… yes. When you put it like that! But I feel like I haven’t even seen you in 12 years and _we live together_! Whenever you’re not studying, you’re having phone sex with Gabe. And it’s annoying.”

“Sorry me being intimate with my boyfriend is annoying.” He says under his breath, and Ashley crosses her arms and says defiantly, “I didn’t mean it like that! But come on, you have to admit that it’s a bit sad that you haven’t left the apartment except to go to work. Like… when’s the last time you just went shopping? Or took a walk in the park? Or-“

In the middle of her lecture, their home phone begins to ring. So, naturally, since William isn’t in the mood to listen to Ashley rant about him not ‘living his life’, he grabs the phone and says while trying to run out of Ashley's reach, “H-hello?! Frangipane and Beckett residence, William speaking!”

Ashley keeps her arms crossed, and she taps her foot impatiently as she waits for William to finish the call. “ _If that’s Gabe wanting to have phone sex with you, you better hang up_!” She mouths to him, but William’s eyes widen and he clasps a hand over his mouth, before he says in disbelief, “Wait, this is _who_?! And you’re calling for _Ashley_?!”

“Wait, who is that?” Ashley asks, suddenly interested, and William passes the phone to her with a totally shocked, star-struck expression on his face, “Um, he, um, he just said he’s Chris Martin from Coldplay? Like… _THE_ Coldplay.”

**_“CHRIS MARTIN FROM COLDPLAY?!?!?!?!!!!??!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!”_ **

\---

( _Vicky, Ryan, Brendon, Gabe, and Patrick are sitting around, doing work in (you guessed it) the Music Department. Someone from the main office calls for Patrick, so Patrick reluctantly pulls himself out of his seat.)_

"I'm gonna be back, okay? Don't eat my food." Patrick warns them, before he pushes his phone in his pocket, and he walks out of the room. The second Patrick leaves, Brendon leans over, and pushes Patrick's container of trail mix closer to him. He starts picking the M&Ms out of them, and he sighs loudly. "Trail mix is the food of the devil. It should be all M&Ms."

"So if it's all when M&Ms, wouldn't it just be just a packet of M&Ms?" Gabe asks innocently, and Brendon's eyes widen and he says in a low voice, "What the ~~fuck~~ are you trying to say right now? Are you trying to correct me? You wanna ~~fucking~~ fight you ~~fucking~~ piece of ~~fucking shit~~ you ~~fucking~~ -" and then he gets stopped by Victoria's sharp intake of breath.

“Um… hey guys…” Vicky says, in a slow and sort of terrified voice. She's staring down at a calendar with a frown, and Brendon and Gabe immediately turn themselves so that all of their attention is directed to her. They lean in a little closer. “Any new drama? What's happening?”

“So… remember when I said I wanted to fake a pregnancy just to get people talking?” Vicky asks, and Brendon and Gabe nod, looking unsure as to where she’s going with this. And even Ryan, who was scrolling through a Coldplay news blog the entire time, leans in a little, catching the expression on her face and the calendar. Things start to click, and Ryan's eyes widen slightly, but he doesn't say anything.

“Well, uh… well, I’m. like… _late_. Like, two weeks late.” She says nervously, and Brendon does a full body gasp. “Oh my God! PREGNANT?! We have to go get you a pregnancy test! Hoooooly ~~shit~~! What is Joe gonna say! Can I be the godfather? You don’t have to make Ryan the other one, it can just be me, Ryan doesn't-“

“BRENDON! This isn’t… guys, I don’t want to be pregnant! Ew!”

\---

VICTORIA: It would have been fun to fake a pregnancy, maybe, but… I’m sort of  ~~fucking~~ terrified. Oh my God, I don’t want to be a mom! And Joe probably doesn’t want to be a dad, and we’re not even engaged, and… ~~fuck~~! ~~Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck~~! See, I can’t even control my language, what if my baby can hear me right now?! ~~Shit~~! Wait, no-

RYAN: How do I feel about children? I mean... I'm not a fan. At all. But they're kinda cute for a couple of seconds. And then they start crying and then you want to throw them into ongoing traffic. Or maybe that's just me.

BRENDON: I love babies! At my C-U-Next-Thursday sister’s wedding, I got to meet a bunch of my baby nieces and nephews and they were so cute! And one even threw up on Ryan, it was so adorable! But that’s because she didn’t throw up on me. I think babies can detect when you don’t like them, and then they single you out. Kind of like dogs?

RYAN: One threw up on me, and I had to stop myself from throwing it out of an open window. And Brendon? Thought it was _cute_. Wait, hold on... ( _he pulls out his phone, scrolls a little, and holds up a picture of himself with baby puke on his shirt, flipping off the camera_ ) Brendon made it his lockscreen for a while but I think Patrick bribed him to change it.

GABE: ( _he was asked about children, but he changes the subject instantly._ ) So. Let me take this excellent opportunity to talk about- you guessed it- cobras! ( _the cameras cut it off at this point_ )

\---

“Well, do you know for sure?” Ryan asks, and Vicky shakes her head, bringing a hand up to her mouth to bite her nails. “No, I just… I haven’t bled in two weeks, my period comes regularly, I don't know what else it'd be, and we haven't... I mean, I don't know!"

"You don't know? Do you guys... like, what? Have you been taking your pill regularly?" Brendon asks, and Vicky shrinks under his gaze a little, "Uh..."

"Victoria T. Asher!" "My middle name isn't-" "What the hell is wrong with you?! You _have_ to take it regularly, it's not like, ' _oh, let me just NOT take this important thing and see what happens_ ', like-"

Ryan winces a little, and he says to his boyfriend, "Bren, come on, don't yell at her, she's already stressed as is."

"Wow," Vicky says, shaking her head, "I can't believe my eyes and ears. Ryan Ross showing compassion."

But she looks like she's close to tears, so Brendon doesn't call her out anymore. He just rests a hand over hers, and he says a little softer, "Well, anyways, we'll help you get through it," and he looks up to his friends. "Right guys?"

"Yeah!" Gabe says, "We'll come with you to get a test and everything, and we'll be with you every step of the way. Except the part when you pee on the stick, maybe not that part..." He trails off, and he adds, "And I mean, I don't really want to watch a baby crawl its way out of your vag, but seriously. We're with ya."

"Babies don't crawl out of..." Brendon begins to say, before he just gives up, and changes the subject. "So. Are you gonna tell Joe?"

(Joe's been out sick- everyone looks over to Joe's spot, which is empty.)

“No. I don’t want Joe to know.” She mumbles, and Gabe furrows his eyebrows a little, “Wait, why?”

“Because… what if he doesn’t want to be a father?” Vicky asks timidly, and Ryan scoffs, “Joe not wanting to be a father? Come on. Joe wants to be a father more than all of us combined, he’s always asking you to call him Daddy.” Ryan says, and _it_ only now seems to dawn on him, because he winces, and says, "Holy shit, I'm an idiot. Ew!"

“ _Ew_? What’s wrong with a daddy kink? I didn't think you had a problem with daddy kinks, especially after the events that transpired last night.” Brendon asks, looking offended. Gabe looks over to Vicky and he mouths ‘ _Oh shit! Exposed!_ ’

“I mean… it’s gross thinking about Vicky and Joe like that! Not you! You-“ Ryan tries to say, but Brendon holds a hand up to his face and he says “Talk to the hand, Ryan. Talk to the hand.”

“Can we get back to the task at hand?” Vicky asks, and then she says, answering her own question, “So... do you guys want to come with me tomorrow? Because-" and then she gets interrupted by Pete walking in. 

"What's happenin'?" He asks, gauging their faces, and Brendon grins and says excitedly, "Vicks is pregnant! Well she thinks she is- Don't tell Joe, though."

Pete's eyebrows raise, but that's pretty much it. "Oh, cool. Congrats. Patrick's gonna be so excited," and then he turns to look at Ryan. "and speaking of Patrick- can you cover for me tonight? I gotta go out again, cause the guy I've been seeing said that it's almost done." 

Brendon, Gabe, and Vicky turn to each other with shocked expressions on their faces. _The guy he's been seeing?_

\---

VICTORIA: If Pete were cheating on Patrick, I would probably kill him. Maybe I shouldn't be saying this on national television in case he, er, falls down a flight of stairs but... you don't mess with Patrick. That's _our_ job. 

\---

Gabe grits his teeth. "Dude... that's ~~fucking~~ messed up. Like, I kinda want to punch you across the face right now. You're cheating on _Patrick_? What the ~~fuck~~ is wrong with you?"

And Pete shakes his head, and he involuntarily smiles, because he's getting ready to tell them his master plan for asking Patrick to marry him, and, well, that thought always makes him both incredibly happy and nervous... but incredibly happy. "It's not like that-"

"So what the ~~fuck~~ is it like?" 

Patrick's standing in the door-frame, his fingers curled into fists. 

\---

BRENDON: ( _incoherent screaming- but it sounds like 'THIS ISN'T WHAT I MEANT BY WANTING MORE DRAMA'_ )

\---

Pete immediately takes a step back when he catches Patrick's facial expression, and he shakes his head frantically, "No, no, no, ~~fuck~~ , no, that's not-"

"Then what?" Patrick asks, and his voice is full of so much hurt that tears start to spring at Pete's eyes. "Who is it, Pete?"

"It's not- You just-"

Brendon, Vicky, Ryan, and Gabe watch on, horrified, as Patrick says, still at a scarily low volume, "Was I just not good enough for you? Did I love you too much? Are you just so accustomed to being treated like shit that the second someone shows you love, you ~~fucking~~ cheat on them? Are you just so ~~_fucking_~~ pathetic that-"

"It's not like that, Patrick! Baby, I love you!" Pete cries... well, pathetically. He's about two seconds from dropping to his knees and begging for forgiveness. He's not really sure what he can say to make this right, because it's either he foils his plans and makes it seem like he's asking for all the wrong reasons or he loses his boyfriend and best friend over a misunderstood _sentence._

"Who the ~~fuck~~ is it?" Patrick asks again, and he turns to Ryan, who immediately shrinks back, "Do you know who it is? Since you've been spending so much of your ~~fucking~~ time covering for him?"

\---

RYAN: I've never been more stressed in my life. And you don't know stress until you're hiding out in the bathroom trying to get pit tickets to see Coldplay the second that they go on sale.

\---

"What? No! No, I just-" Ryan darts his eyes back and forth between Pete and Patrick, and when he looks over to Brendon for help, Brendon's staring at him with a look of disgust. Which Brendon has never done to Ryan- ever!

"Patrick, can we just- can-" Pete stammers out, but he's shaking so badly that he can't really get any words out. Not that he wants to see Patrick crying, but the fact that Patrick looks like he was already _prepared_ for this makes this about a million times worse.

"Can we what?" Patrick asks, and he really looks like he's ready to punch Pete across the face- "There's nothing to work out, I'm not ~~fucking~~ staying with a cheater, I'm not putting myself through this ~~shit~~ again because I don't... we talked about kids, what the ~~fuck~~ is wrong with you! We talked about-

And then he pauses. 

\---

PATRICK: Oh my God, I'm an idiot! I'm- marriage! He's gonna propose, and I just... I just trashed his entire existence and called him a cheater! And he's been-- I knew that he wasn't measuring my ring finger because he thought it'd be cool! Who measures their fingers for fun?! ( _face palms_ ) And now I just insulted him and made a scene in front of all of our friends and ~~fuck~~! I know that you guys aren't allowed to interfere but... you know, a warning before I went in there and cursed him out would have been nice.

\---

"You talked about?" Gabe supplies for them after a couple of seconds of silence, and Patrick whips his head around, and glares at him. "Shut up! Just--" and then he turns back to Pete. "Um. We'll talk about this when we get home! Ugh!" and then he just walks out, for lack of knowing what else to do.

Everyone in the room sits in silence, stunned, and just when Brendon opens his mouth to say something, Patrick comes back in. He walks over to the table, grabs his container of trail mix, looks in and sees all of the M&Ms gone, and he sets the container back down. He gives Brendon a look that could kill, and then he walks away for real.

And then the bell rings, so everyone awkwardly gets up and goes to their respective classroom.

\---

PETE: ( _his head is in his hands_ ) ~~FUCK~~

BRENDON: At first I was really hurt at what Ryan did- and not just because he didn't tell me about that tea. Like, I know that Ryan can be an asshole, but I didn't know that he was that low to help Pete cheat. But then Ryan told me the real reason and wow... that's so embarrassing for the both of them. Mess! ( _he takes a sip of his tea and his face twists in disgust_ ) This tea is tastes like ~~shit~~.

\---

( _TIME SKIP- it’s the next day, and Ashley sitting with her manager, Dallon, at the table. Bill’s ‘doing homework’ AKA eavesdropping to the highest degree_ )

“Dally boy-” Ashley begins her sentence, twirling a strand of hair around her finger. Dallon Weekes, her manager, looks like he’s about two seconds away from jumping out of the window. In fact, he's been sneaking looks over to the fire escape ever since Ashley started talking- Bill grows increasingly concerned. He almost wants to interfere, but he's too busy trying not to laugh at Dallon's reactions to everything that she says. 

“-I really do, uh, appreciate your _quote unquote_ advice about you think I should do with my hair and the way I dress and the way I carry myself on tumblr.org, but to be perfectly honest with you, I’m not gonna listen to it, so… suck my ass. Anyways- am I opening for Coldplay or not?”

\---

WILLIAM: Do you guys regret investing your money in Ash? Just wondering.

DALLON: Yesterday she screamed at me over the phone and told me that she was tired of me controlling her professional life… and I’m her _manager_.

\---

Dallon grits his teeth a little, but he pulls out a boring looking manila folder that says Ashley’s stage name on it. “Well, there’s still a whole load of paperwork to be done, but I talked to the band’s tour manager, and they said that the band-“

“You should refer to Coldplay by their real name, 'Lord Coldplay'. You’re being really disrespectful right now.”

Ashley grins at him, and Dallon sighs deeply, before he starts again, his fists clenched at his sides. “I talked to _Lord Coldplay’s_ tour manager, and they said that… that _Lord Coldplay_ was very impressed by your singles and your demos and that when Ch- _Lord Chris_ talked to you over the phone yesterday, you were _surprisingly_ very charming and he said that he liked your personality. Again, _very_ surprising. So-“

“So, I’m opening for Coldplay?!” She asks, urgently, and when Dallon nods hesitantly, she gasps and turns to look over to Bill.

“WILLIAM!” She screeches, and she jumps out of her seat and runs over to Bill, engulfing him in a huge hug. All of the breath in William gets knocked out, and he gets a mouthful of her hair in his mouth, but he feels a rush of pride- Ashley makes it seem like she has nothing in order and she makes it seem like she’s out of control and crazy but then she does things like write songs like ‘ _Trouble’_ and she, you know, _opens for Coldplay_ , and then Bill remembers why he loves her so much and he remembers why she’s just about the most talented person he’s ever met.

“You are definitely taking a break from studying to see me open for ~~motherfucking~~ Coldplay! Oh my God!” She exclaims, and then she grabs one of Bill’s textbooks, “We’re gonna set this on fire.”

“No-n-n-n-no, no, we’re definitely not setting anything on fire, unless you’re paying for it.” He says, but he can’t but crack a smile when Ashley runs over to the couch and starts jumping up and down. “I’M OPENING FOR ~~FUCKING~~ COLDPLAY!” She screams, crying and laughing at the same time, and Dallon watches this all go down with a pained expression on his face.

\---

DALLON: I don’t really like her, but… I have to admit, she has a lot of potential for someone who has a lot of growing up to do.

\---

“Oh my God,” she says, suddenly stopping. “I have to fix my hair! And the concert is in three days! Oh ~~fuck~~! Oh ~~fucking shit, fuck~~!”

She runs off the couch and heads for the bathroom, but Dallon stops her by resting a hand on her shoulder, stopping her from running headfirst into the wall. “They’re actually supplying you with a hairdresser and a stylist, so you don’t have to worry about that. Just…. Don’t set yourself on fire or drown yourself before Friday, okay?”

“I’m bringing my own outfit. But okay.” She says, giving him a thumbs up. “No one tells me what I can and can’t wear. But thanks anyways. Now… why are you still here?”

\---

( _BACK IN CHICAGO- Ryan, Brendon, Gabe, and Vicky are in the car, driving to get her test. Josh is sitting in the trunk again, with all of the camera stuff, not that anyone can see/acknowledge him. There’s a camera set up in the front of the car, so all of them are in view. Brendon’s in the driver’s seat, and he’s swaying a little to some of the ‘Beatles’ music he’s playing. Gabe looks a little disgusted, in the passenger seat, and Vicky and Ryan are in the back._ )

“So, I saw Pete and Patrick walking in this morning- they look pretty okay.” Gabe says, reaching over to turn down Brendon’s music. Brendon frowns a little, but he doesn’t say anything about that. Instead, he adds to Gabe’s conversation, “Yeah, true. I wonder if they had make-up sex and if it was good. Sometimes I try to piss Ryan off just so that we can have make-up sex- it’s the best.”

“I’m sitting right here, Brendon. Right here.” Ryan says, rolling his eyes a little. Brendon smiles smugly to himself, and he mouths to Gabe, ‘ _It’s working_.’, before he says, “I just wonder how that all went down, though. I mean, he went from calling Pete a pathetic loser who will never find love to being all cuddly with him this morning.”

Vicky quips up from the back-seat for the first time, “It’s cause Patrick probably knows. Patrick knows everything- he probably figured it out and now he has to play nice.”

Everyone sits in silence for a second, considering that, before they nod in agreement.

“Part of me is kinda sad… I want more drama.” Brendon says miserably, and Gabe rolls his eyes, “I would rather have drama in the form of, like, someone falling down the stairs and breaking their neck or something. Pete and Patrick drama is just… too much. Ugh. Then we’d all have to pick sides and ~~shit~~.”

\---

GABE: For all intents and purposes, I’m Team Patrick. Pete’s my friend, but Patrick lowkey held me down when he could have reported me for… er…  _You know_. And plus, Patrick’s kind of scary. Like he’s really nice! But he could probably beat me up with his guitar.

\---

It gets quiet again, and there’s traffic on the way there, so Brendon turns up his music again (it’s on “Help!” right now- Gabe mouths at the camera, ‘ _Won’t you please, please help me_?’), and Vicky and Ryan go back to their phones.

And it stays quiet for the most part, besides from Brendon’s increasing-in-volume singing, until Ryan sucks in a breath through his breath, and he says in a stressed, leveled voice, like he’s trying to contain all of his emotions, “Um, Gabe? What’s Ashley Frangipane’s stage name again?”

“Uh… Something weird. Hal…Hasley? Halsey? Halls Cough Drops? Something. Why?”

There’s silence for a second, and Brendon winces right before Ryan screams, like he anticipates it- the calm before the storm. “BECAUSE HALSEY IS OPENING FOR COLDPLAY ON FRIDAY NIGHT AT METLIFE STADIUM AND HALSEY IS ASHLEY FRANGIPANE AND I HAVE TO GO!!!!! I HAVE TO GO AND MEET CHRIS!”

Gabe rolls his eyes, but he turns around in his seat, and he takes Ryan’s phone from his hands before he reads over the tumblr post that’s open on Ryan’s phone. “Holy ~~shit~~ … that _is_ Ashley!”

“YEAH I ~~FUCKING~~ KNOW, I HAVE EYES, GABE! YOU GOTTA CALL WILLIAM AND GET ME SOME BACKTAGE PASSES! I HAVE TO MEET CHRIS!”

He starts tearing up, and he turns to Victoria, who’s watching him in half-disbelief, and half-disdain. “VICTORIA! CHRIS MARTIN!”

He grabs her shoulders and shakes them, until she shrugs him off, ““Yeah, yeah… but how are you doing to travel all the way to New York by Friday? Don’t we have work?”

“…why would I work when I have the possibility of meeting Chris Martin.” Ryan asks, and the two of them blink at each other, before Vicky just looks into the camera and mouths ‘ _he’s fucking crazy_ ’

“Well, I wanna come too!” Brendon says, turning back to look at everyone despite the fact that he’s at the wheel. Gabe’s eyes widen, and he grabs the steering wheel when he realizes that Brendon isn’t gonna turn around anytime soon. “I wanna come! Also I want to have a word with Chris-“

“Why are you calling him Chris like you guys are on speaking terms?”

“You know, Victoria, for someone who’s getting a ride, you’re giving me a lot of attitude. I’ll ~~fucking~~ kick you out in the middle of the street if you question me again.”

“You guys are so ~~fucking~~ dramatic, oh my God.” Gabe says, mostly to himself since no one is listening to him. He’s still driving the car, by the way. “Brendon, hit the- you just went through a red light!”

\---

GABE: Yeah, remind me to never get a car with them again ( _the camera moves up and down, like a nod_ )

\---.

“Wow, Gabe! Thanks for the warning!” Brendon says sarcastically, and he finally turns back around in his seat. “Anyways- can you call William and ask him for tickets? If you don’t, I’ll kick you out too."

\---

RYAN: Brendon actually does that. ( _FOOTAGE: Patrick sitting on the side of the highway, cursing into his phone- “WHAT THE ~~FUCK~~ IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU PUSHED ME INTO ONCOMING TRAFFIC YOU MOTHERF-”_ ). So there’s no point in trying to call his bluff.

\---

Vicky brings a hand to her forehead, like she definitely regrets asking them to come with her. She leans her head against the window, and she just watches the three of them argue back and forth, before Gabe finally takes his phone out with a loud sigh.

He calls William, and puts it on speaker phone. Brendon keeps looking back behind his shoulder, wanting to be part of the discussion, but Gabe manually moves Brendon’s head back so that he’s facing the road and not killing them by going through another red light.

“Baby?” William answers his phone, and Ryan squeals a little, in anticipation. “Yeah, hey babe. What’s goin’ on?” Gabe asks.

“Nothing much… just sitting in my room… I’m actually glad you called,” William begins to say, before his voice gets a little breathy, “I… I _want_ you, daddy. I miss you so much and I’ve been feeling so _slutty_ -”

“WILLIAM YOU’RE ON SPEAKER PHONE AND THE CAMERAS ARE HERE.” Gabe blurts out, his eyes wide, and Vicky's jaw drops.

There’s silence over the phone, and William finally replies, through what sounds like his gritted teeth, “Tell me not to hang up on you.”

“Please don’t hang up on me, Brendon said he’s gonna kick me out of the moving car if I don’t talk to you about something.”

More silence.

“…So you’re telling me that all of your friends just heard me call you ‘daddy’ and heard me say that I’ve been feeling slutty?” William sounds _pissed_. Not that anyone blames him.

Gabe looks like he wants to die. “Uh… just Brendon, Vicky, and Ryan. Listen, I’ll make it up to you, okay? I’ll come up next week and I’ll rent a hotel and-“

“Just ~~fucking~~ ask me, Gabe.” William grumbles. Ryan’s shaking with anticipation now, and Gabe sighs, before he says, “Ryan and Brendon want to know if Ashley can get them backstage passes to see Coldplay at MetLife.”

William groans, and the sound of him walking through the apartment is apparent. They can hear him knock on her door, and then they can hear William and Ashley’s conversation. “Um, Mr. Urie and Mr. Ross wanna know… just take the phone before I throw it out the window.”

Gabe looks into the camera with a grimace. Ashley replies something intelligible, and then they hear the sound of a door closing.

“Hello?” Ashley answers, and Gabe perks up a little. “Ashley! Hey, did William look mad?”

“Yeah, he looked pretty pissed. But he always looks pissed. Anyways- how’s my favorite teacher?” Gabe smiles a little, and he says, “I’m fine-“ before he gets interrupted, “Oh, I meant Patrick. But… how are you?”

His smile drops, and Brendon tries to stifle his laughter.

“Uh, fine. Anyways- Brendon and Ryan want to know if they can get backstage passes to see you at MetLife so that they can, uh, congratulate you in person and see you live.” Gabe says, lying for the most part. Ashley’s generous but probably not generous enough to get them backstage passes to see Coldplay.

Ashley gasps, and she exclaims, “Yeah, I can do that! Holy ~~shit~~ , I’ll get William to email you some for them- they gave me, like, 10 of them and I’m only taking William and you know, it’s so embarrassing, like no one wants to come and support me, like literally what the ~~fuck~~ , like you’d think-“ this continues for a while. Eventually she stops ranting about how none of her friends want to travel across the country to see her live, and she brings up Brendon and Ryan. “Are they there?! Can I talk to them?!”

And after a few minutes of Ryan and Ashley screaming about Chris Martin together, it’s settled- Ashley’s ‘ _sending a digital copy of the backstage passes as we speak’_ , and Brendon and Ryan get their backstage passes… to meet Chris Martin… of Coldplay.

And after Ryan spends another minute or so full on screeching after they get off the phone, he finally settles in his seat, as Brendon pulls into the parking lot of a CVS. “So… today was full of good news, huh? Let’s hope Vicky’s pregnancy tests come out negative.” Brendon says, and Gabe nods, “Yeah, guys! We should pray to the Cobras to help us.”

Brendon, Vicky, and Ryan all give him annoyed looks, before they open the doors to the car, and leave him alone in there to say a quick prayer- to the Cobras. While Gabe prays, the trunk to the car opens, and Josh’s green hair is visible for a couple of seconds, and then the camera cuts off.

\---

( _Pete and Patrick are walking together, holding hands, in the hallways. They stop when they see Gabe, Brendon, and Ryan hanging around the women’s bathroom_.)

“What’s happening?” Patrick asks, looking between the three of them, and Gabe shrugs from his spot on the floor. “We’re waiting for Vicky to get out and show us the results on her pregnancy test.”

Patrick's eyebrow furrow, "Wait..." and then he gasps, “Wait, Vicky thinks she’s pregnant?!”

“Yeah! You would have known if you hadn’t been a total drama queen and cursed Pete out and made everyone feel super awkward.” Brendon says, crossing his arms. Patrick immediately turns a shade of pink, and Pete looks at Brendon with a look that screams ‘what the fuck are you thinking?!’

Brendon shrugs, and he looks into the camera and mouths, ‘ _I want drama_!’

“F-for your information, the situation looked bad, okay?! You know that I’m- you- we-“ and then Patrick throws his hands up and says, “It was a mistake! We worked it out!”, and then he looks over to Pete. “You know that I don’t think you’re a pathetic loser... It was the heat of the moment!”

\---

PETE: Yeah, that was pretty hard to hear, not gonna lie. But, I mean, if I was stupid enough to cheat on Patrick, then I would have deserved it? And it’s not like Patrick’s wrong- I do love self-sabotage.

\---

“Yeah, I know. If I cheated on you, I probably would have deserved a thousand more insults.” Pete says, and Patrick says, before he can stop himself, “If you cheated on me, I’d rip your balls off with my bare hands and force-feed them to you.”

Gabe looks up from his spot on the floor and he shudders a little. “Yeah, I actually don’t doubt that.”

"I don't either." Pete says, after a moment, and Patrick smiles sweetly, "Good. That's the point, and hey, why are... I mean, can't we just find out the results when Vicky comes out? Does Joe know?"

Brendon shakes his head. "Nah. And we're her support system, okay?! She has to be with her friends in a time like this." Brendon says, and they hear Vicky yell from the other side of the door, "Shut up, Brendon."

Ryan breaks his silence to bang on the bathroom door, "Vicky, hurry up! How long does it take to pee?! I have class right now!"

“Wait... Brendon, don’t you have class right now too?” Patrick asks, and Brendon pointedly ignores Patrick, and moves to sit in Ryan’s lap. But Ryan's sitting on the floor, and there's no support for Brendon's weight. So, Ryan's eyes widen when all of Brendon's weight presses on his thighs, but he wraps an arm loosely around his waist, as Brendon wraps his arm around Ryan's shoulder, and pretends to take a nap. While Patrick's still talking to him.

“You just- Brendon, you can’t ignore my question and pretend like I didn’t ask it!”

But Brendon keeps ignoring Patrick anyways. So, before Patrick can yell at Brendon even more, Pete pulls Patrick aside, and tries to calm him down. “Listen! Um… I know you’re really stressed right now. And I know that yesterday didn’t help.”

Patrick nods numbly. “Even though we always go out for dessert after we have a big talk, that brownie sundae can’t make up for how- Brendon’s class! Is probably unattended and I don't trust... the computers, and they're gonna..." He trails off, and he reaches in his messenger bag for some Advil. "I'm getting a headache."

“Wait, no! Listen… how about we-“ “Are you suggesting a blowjob?” Patrick asks quickly, jumping to conclusions.

Pete blinks at Patrick. “Uh… no…” and Patrick tries not to look disappointed. “Oh. Sorry, continue.”

“I was gonna say… we should go on a date on Friday. Somewhere fancy. I was thinking-“ Patrick gasps, not letting Pete finish his sentence, “Ooh! I know! Somewhere with a nice lighting, in case you want to take pictures. Somewhere with nice scenery, oh, and if we sit on a rooftop, maybe a lot of people won’t bother us, you know… in case you wanted to… talk… about… things.”

Pete gives him an odd look, and Patrick counters that with another odd look, and they hold that gaze for a while before Pete says warily, “Uh… yeah, we can do that. That’s oddly specific, though. But I can work something out. You deserve the best.” He says, and Patrick smiles a little, and he pulls Pete in for a hug. And it looks like a normally hug, but they have their mics on, so when Pete whispers in Patrick’s ear “And if you want, we have 15 minutes left if you want that blow job.”, it comes out clear.

Patrick immediately grips Pete’s bicep and he nods quickly, clinging to him, “Yeah, yeah, yeah… let’s go.”

Brendon, who’s been listening on to this entire interaction, scowls. His head is on Ryan's shoulder, who's too busy playing rock-paper-scissors with Gabe to pay attention. “Why go? We’re still waiting for Vicky and I’m bored.

"I thought you were taking a nap, Brendon?" Patrick asks, sickly sweet, and he flips Brendon off back when Brendon does it to him.

“Good _bye_ , Brendon.” Patrick emphasizes, before he waves to the rest of the crew. Then, he pulls Pete behind him as he speed walks to the bathroom on the other side of the school.

\---

PATRICK: To be honest, I'm really not above blow jobs in the school bathroom. Like, it's gotten to that point that... I just don't care. 

PETE: Was it just me or was Patrick acting... suspicious? Maybe it was just me. ANYWAYS- I guess that's it, huh? We have a dinner date set, so now I just have to remind Ryan to bring the ring for me. After the incident yesterday, I had Ryan pick the ring up since, y'know, I was too busy after school mending things up and, uh, doing things with Patrick. _To_ Patrick. ( _wiggles his eyebrows suggestively_ )

RYAN: I'm not gonna forget the ring! Who do you think I am!

\---

( _TIME SKIP- 3 days later, on Friday, the night of Ashley’s performance and (potential) big break. Ryan and Brendon are in NYC, in their hotel room. Ryan is on the phone with Pete, while Brendon gets dressed.)_

“I KNOW! ~~Fuck~~! You don’t- I realized the second we landed, and I checked my bag, and… you’re making a big deal out of nothing! Just ask him tomorrow when I get back with the ring- I know! I’m so sorry, I’m so ~~fucking~~ sorry. And I’m never sorry!” Ryan gushes into his phone, and it’s silent for a couple of seconds. “Pete? Are you there?”

After another moment, Ryan just presses ‘End’, and throws his phone on the side of his bed. He crosses his arms, and he huffs out a sigh. "I hate my life."

\---

RYAN: So… I forgot the ring…

\---

Brendon frowns, and he makes his way over to the bed in the middle of the bed. He crawls in next to Ryan, wraps his arms around Ryan’s body, and lets Ryan lean against his chest. Ryan lets out another shaky breath, and Brendon presses a kiss to his neck before he says, “Don’t beat yourself up for it, okay? He’s the one who-“

“This is so weird-“ Ryan interrupts Brendon suddenly, and he shifts a little so that they’re facing each other. “I feel… _bad_. And I never feel bad about anything!”

Brendon gives him an odd look, so Ryan continues, “I mean, I’m about to meet my idol- eh, understatement, I’m about to meet _GOD_. GOD, Brendon! Chris Martin! And all I feel right now is bad. I feel horrible! I haven’t felt this way since… since never! I don’t feel guilt, I only care about Chris Martin.” He pauses, and mutters under his breath, “And you, sometimes.”

“Huh? What was that?” Brendon asks, teasingly, and Ryan rolls his eyes, “I’m being serious! Part of me doesn’t wanna even go, I just wanna sit here and mope around and feel sorry for myself. And feel sorry for Pete, who probably hates me right now.”

“Wow… you _do_ feel bad.” Brendon observes slowly- to anyone else it'd be normal that they'd be upset, but this is Ryan. Ryan, who literally doesn't care about anything besides Coldplay. Ryan nods miserably at Brendon's statement.

“I know. I know! I just wanna fly back and make everything right, but I can’t because… I mean, I don’t feel _that_ guilty to not go. But I feel bad about it! And it feels worse because... I don't know. I feel sad... but I only feel sad when I listen to 'The Scientist', and I feel disappointed. In myself. But I never feel that way! I feel like I'm going crazy... maybe it's because I'm gonna meet Chris. It's just that, right?"

When Brendon gives him another weird look, Ryan's shoulders slump. 

“I mean… maybe it’s a good thing. Not that you should feel bad, but… it’s nice to be in touch with your emotions. Then, when Patrick says you’re an emotionless robot, you can tell him that you feel emotions other than horniness and happiness when you hear the opening chords to a Coldplay song.” Brendon suggests, and Ryan smiles a little, which makes Brendon smile back.

“I don’t think being horny is an emotion.” Ryan says jokingly, “and either way- I feel happiness when I’m with you too. I, like... love you. I don’t know. You know I’m not good at this.” “I know. _Trust me_ , I know.”

Ryan opens his mouth to say something, probably mean, but then he just opts for, “ _Anyways_ , I like being with you. I don’t want you to think that I don’t and I’m just dating you because I can’t get rid of you, because… that’s just, ~~fuck~~ , that’s not true at all, you make me feel things, you make me want to be a better person. The fact that I even feel bad about the Pete thing is because I know how upset I’d be if it happened to me if I were planning something like that for you…. don’t get any ideas, though.”

\---

RYAN: What?! You know Brendon- he’d probably start planning a wedding if I didn’t give him, like, a disclaimer

BRENDON: Start? Bitch, I’ve _been_ planning a wedding! The theme is-

\---

“I’m not getting any ideas.” Brendon says, which is clearly a lie, and then he shifts a little until he’s on the edge of the bed. “And anyways- that’s sweet. I’m getting kind of hot and bothered just thinking about you caring about me and liking the fact that I’m making you a better person. In fact…”

Brendon slides down until he’s sitting at Ryan’s feet, and he moves so that’s he’s settled between Ryan’s legs. He turns to the cameras and he says, “Tyler, I know you get hard just thinking about Ryan and I but… leave. Now.”

And he turns back to Ryan and he says, “I’m gonna get you in a better mood and get you out of that funk. And then we’re gonna go to MetLife and meet your idol, and then we’re gonna steal one of his sweat-soaked gym towels, and then I’m gonna-“

And then the camera hastily shuts off.

\---

( _BACK IN CHICAGO- Pete and Patrick are getting ready for their dinner date. Patrick’s standing in front of his closet staring at 10 almost identical fedoras. He tries everyone on, despite the fact that none of them really match his outfit, and then he sticks to the one he literally always wears. Pete’s nowhere in the frame.)_

“Pete! Can you hurry up?!” Patrick yells, knocking on the bathroom door loudly. “If you think that you need to apply more eyeliner because you can’t see it and you don’t think it’s enough, don’t add more. Not that I don’t like when you have raccoon eyes, but…” He trails off, and he stands in front of the bathroom with crossed arm.

But something seems off- the way that Pete doesn’t reply with anything witty, the way that Pete’s breath comes in and out rushed, like he’s gasping. So Patrick moves a little closer, and he says in a softer voice, “Pete? Baby?”

“Just give me a minute!” Pete calls out, but his voice is all choked up, so Patrick looks over to the cameras for a second before he says, “Come on, let me in. I’ll close the door.”

There’s a moment where nothing happens, and then the door opens. Pete’s eyes are puffy and there are tear trails on his cheeks, and he just looks disheveled. He pulls Patrick in, and then slams the door shut so that the cameras can’t come in. So, the cameras just film the bathroom door the entire time.

“Oh ~~shit~~ , what happened?” Patrick asks, all of that edge of anger in his voice gone. Pete’s breath is still unsteady, and just the sound of him sniffling is heard before he says, “I messed… I ~~fucked~~ it all up, I screwed it all up, and you… and Ryan didn’t… and I didn’t want…” and then he stops and he lets out a sob. “This is so ~~fucking~~ embarrassing, just go away, I’ll be fine, I just, I need a minute to just-“

“I don’t want to leave. I love you, come on, talk to me. I’m not… it’s okay, come here.”

There’s some shuffling, and then Pete takes a deep, shaky breath. “I feel stupid. I feel so stupid.” He says eventually, and Patrick hums a little in disagreement. “But you’re not stupid.”

“But I feel stupid and that’s the way I ~~fucking~~ feel.” Pete snaps back. Patrick sighs, and then Pete sighs, too. “I had everything worked out. For once. I had… like, I had a plan. And then it fell to ~~shit~~ , like it normally does, but this time, I just, this is for _you_. I wanted this to be perfect, and then it wasn’t, and then I just, everything this week just kind of came crashing down on me like a ~~fucking~~ ton of bricks.”

Patrick sucks in a breath. “Wait, about the… the…” he trails off. Maybe there was something in his face or the way that he said it, but Pete groans. “Oh my God, you knew. I’m an idiot.”

“ _No_ , you’re not an idiot. And yeah, I figured it out, we’re so ~~fucking~~ in sync with each other, and everything just kind of added up, and just, _again_ , I’m sorry of accusing you of cheating on me, when I realized, it just… Woah. Marriage.” Patrick says, almost in awe. Pete laughs tearfully, “It’s okay, I’m sorry that I didn’t keep it more of a secret. And I’m sorry that I don’t… have the ring with me.” He says, hesitantly.

Patrick hums like he’s not pleased, but he sounds nice enough when he asks, “What happened?”

“After we, y’know, talked things out and did… other stuff, I didn’t want to just leave you, so I asked Ryan to pick it up, and then he kept forgetting to bring it back when I asked, and then he left this morning, and I know it was partly my fault too, but… I don’t know. This ~~_fucking_ ~~ week.”

“Yeah, I agree. This week was… pretty bad.” Patrick admits, and Pete grumbles, “Not for Ryan, who’s probably coming on himself as we speak because of Chris Martin.”

There’s a silence, and then the two of them burst into laughter. “Probably, if he hasn’t fainted already.” Patrick says through a giggle, before he says a little more seriously, “I love you so much, Pete. I don’t care about a ring, and I don’t care about a fancy dinner… kinda… I just, I care about _you_. I just want to marry you.”

“You want to marry me? For real?” Pete asks, and then he sniffles again. “Even when I do ~~shit~~ like cry in the bathroom and forget important stuff and get eyeliner streaks on your favorite shirt?”

“Did you- ugh, Pete!” Patrick exclaims, before he says quickly, “But yes, yes, _yes_ , I want to marry you. I love you.” and then they kiss, before Pete says, muffled against _something_ , “I love you, too.”

There's more silence, and then the bathroom door opens. Patrick gives the cameras a tired, but content look, and he says, "Can you, um," and then they shut off. 

\---

( _AT METLIFE STADIUM- The camera pans backstage- Brendon, William, Ashley, and Ryan are all talking in one of the ‘green’ rooms. Ashley’s wearing her stage clothes, and her (newly) silver hair shines in the light. It’s also pretty clear just from Ryan’s face that they haven’t met the members of Coldplay yet, but they look like they’re having fun as is just talking to her_.)

“I’m so glad you guys came! I mean, it is kinda sad that my only friends are my past teachers, but...” She trails off, not really knowing how to finish that sentence without it seeming like she truly has no friends.

“It’s okay!” Ryan interjects before things get too awkward, “I mean, your friends suck if they don’t want to see you AND Coldplay perform. That’s just pure, unadulterated self-loathing.”

“I know! When I told Chris-“ Ashley begins to say, and Ryan gasps, grabbing Brendon’s arm tightly. “YOU TALKED TO CHRIS? HOW DID HE SOUND?!”

Brendon’s eyes widen at how tightly Ryan’s grip is, and William’s eyes widen at the sound of Ryan and Ashley screaming about Coldplay when Coldplay could literally be 2 feet away. And this continues for a while, Ryan and Ashley raving about how awesome Coldplay is, until someone official looking comes into the room, and tells Ashley that she’s gonna go on stage in 10 minutes and that they have to get her ready to get on stage and that there’s someone there to interview her.

And she looks really happy- like, she can’t stop smiling, and fiddling with her new hair, and some footage plays- she’s on stage, singing, and the crowd, the huge fucking crowd, seems to love her. There are close-ups of her 10 fans screaming her name and screaming for an encore, and there are moments when she seems so into her music it’s like she forgets all about the crowd. But anyways- towards the end, she thanks Brendon, Ryan, and William for coming out, and then she yells, “AND ALSO ~~FUCK~~ MY FAKE FRIENDS FOR NOT COMING OUT AND JUST KNOW THAT I NEVER FORGET ANYTHING, LIKE I LITERALLY NEVER FORGET ANYTHING, SO I’LL NEVER FORGET THIS MOMENT. OKAY, THANKS FOR COMING OUT GUYS!”

\---

ASHLEY: What? I don’t forget anything. I have a brilliant memory. So… when I get rich and famous, I’ll know who to introduce to Chris Martin, and who I’m not gonna introduce to Chris Martin. ( _JOSH: But… how was your performance_?) AAAAAAAAAAAH! It was ~~fucking~~ amazing! I feel like it’s one of those moments I’ll never forget in my entire life. If I could forget things, that is.

\---

But, during that footage, if you look closely, Ryan tells Brendon something, and he walks away from backstage. And then, later on, he comes back looking frazzled. So, after that footage is shown, it plays back what happened then:

Ryan looks around for a little while, and there’s a door that’s labelled ‘MEN’S ROOM’- So, he walks in. When the cameras follow him in, Ryan blinks at them, and he says, “Really? Even here?” And the cameras shrug.

So, he walks in by the stalls and by the sinks, since the urinals are on the other side- and then he sees Him.

HIM!!!!!!

Chris Martin’s arms are on either side of the sink, and water drips from his face like he just splashed water on his face. He looks up when he hears Ryan’s sharp intake of breath, and Ryan grabs onto the side of a stall when Chris looks at him.

And since Ryan is a Coldplayfucker69, he knows that Chris gets stage-fright from time to time. And when he realizes that Chris looks a little uneasy, his thoughts are pretty much confirmed.

“Sorry mate, I'll be out in a minute, sometimes I get...” Chris Martin trails off, and Ryan nods quickly, “It’s okay! Stage-fright is totally legit, and it’s a really huge crowd so-“ and then he realizes that he fucked up when Chris turns back around and splashes more water on his face. “Wait, no, sorry! I mean…” Ryan tries to come back from it- he’s standing 8 inches away from his idol! Chris Martin!

“There’s a whole crowd of people who love you out there! They wouldn’t care if you came out there and started puking. Or if you started ranting about how awesome U2 is. Your fans won’t care if you don’t sound as good as you think you should, even though you always sound great, your fans are just happy to be there and to see you perform!” Ryan gushes- during this time, Chris dries his face, and he nods along to everything Ryan says.

“Like… like, me! You changed my entire life! And you changed the lives of millions and millions of people, and those people love and cherish you for making music that inspires people.” Ryan keeps going, pouring out his entire heart when he would normally say something like, “ _Coldplay makes me nut_.”

“And even if none of that helps, just imagine the entire crowd as dogs. Because even people in underwear can judge you- but dogs never judge people. Dogs are good, and sweet, and they’ll never hate you.” Ryan finishes, before he gives Chris a grin. “Trust me. I do it all the time.”

“Wow,” Chris says, and he looks like he’s in awe. “Thanks, mate.”

“No problem, Chris Martin!” Ryan says, before he pauses and says a little more tentatively. “Can I give you a hug? For good luck.”

“Oh. Sure? I’m really sweaty though.” He says, and maybe Ryan replies, “Oh, that’s toooootally fine!” a little too quickly, but then Chris’s arms outstretch, and then suddenly Ryan is hugging Chris Martin. He takes a deep breath, breathing in his sweat, and then he pulls away before he can get hard- because he’s totally gonna get hard.

“Break a leg, Chris! Well, don’t actually break your leg. But if you do- all of your fans love and support you.” Ryan says, and Chris nods. “Will do. And hey- I never got your name!”

And Ryan’s smile is impossibly large when he breathes out, “My name is Ryan.”. It sounds kind of like a moan, but Chris doesn't look weirded out. In fact, he looks kind of flattered. After that, Chris pats him on the shoulder and he leaves the bathroom. Ryan takes a deep breath, and then he screams. Like, full body screams, loud enough that Chris probably heard it. But that’s okay- because Chris Martin hugged him.

He notices a towel sitting on the sink, and his eyes widen. He looks at the camera, back at the towel, and then he grabs it and runs out of the bathroom.

\---

RYAN: You see Chris Martin’s sweat rag sitting around, you take Chris Martin’s sweat rag. That’s just the way it is.

\---

( _TIME SKIP- BACK IN CHICAGO: The camera pans the Music Department. The entire place reeks of flowers, but that’s because it’s filled with yellow flowers. Pete’s sitting in the corner of the room with Ryan, and they’re discussing something- it's probably Pete forgiving Ryan for yelling at him and thanking him for ordering and setting up all of the flowers. Brendon and Gabe are fixing up the flowers a little, and Vicky and Joe are sitting at the table, eating some of the pastries that are obviously not meant to be eaten solely by them_ )

“How do I look?” Joe asks, and when Vicky looks up from the box of cookies, Joe’s stuffed a bunch of the smaller flowers in his beard and in his hair. It looks super adorable, Joe smiling with flowers in his hair, and it makes Vicky fall in love with him all over again.

Which makes her feel more guilty for not telling him anything.

“You look fantastic. Bees would be alllllll over you, baby.” Vicky grins, and Joe grins back, “Save the bees, man.”

Joe grabs another cookie, and he catches the expression on Vicky’s face when she remember how bad she feels, so he frowns. “Hey, what’s up? You look like someone just insulted Yo-Yo Ma.”

“I love Yo-Yo Ma. Man’s a fucking genius. But, um, I have to tell you something. Something serious.”

Joe nods a little, and he sits back in his seat. And even though the flowers are still sticking out, he _does_ look pretty serious. He rests a hand on Vicky’s when Vicky takes a deep breath, and she says, “So… remember on Saturday when I cried about getting period blood all over the sheets.”

Joe nods again. “Yeah, I do. But I don’t really care about that- I just thought you had died, that’s why I freaked out. I’m totally cool with your menstruating lady parts- in fact, it’s kind of hot.”

Vicky blinks at him, and he blinks back. And then she continues.

“Anyways- I wasn’t crying because I was upset, I was crying because… I was happy.” She says, and Joe's frown deepens, and his eyebrows furrow. “Happy? I thought you hated it.”

“I do! I just- Joe. Joe. I was happy because… I thought I was…. I thought I was pregnant.” She finally says. “On Monday, I realized I was two weeks late, and I thought that I had gotten pregnant, and I took a _test_ , Joe. I took 6 of them in the bathroom on Tuesday, and they all came out negative, and I wasn’t gonna tell you because it doesn’t matter, I’m not pregnant, but… you deserve to know that it happened. And it did. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I was just afraid that… I don’t know. What if I was? And you don’t like kids, Joe. And I don’t like them either. And we wouldn’t be able to smoke anymore. And it was just so scary, and I couldn’t talk about it with anyone? But now, I am and… yeah.”

She finally finishes her rant, and her shoulders slump. But then Joe wraps an arm around her shoulder, and he brings her closer, “Hey, hey, hey, don’t be upset, I’m not mad.” He says, and she sighs in content when he presses a kiss to the top of her head.

“I’m glad you told me, babe. I mean, I’m sad that you were scared to tell me, but to be fair, I _was_ pretty much puking the entirety of last week anyways.” Vicky hums in agreement, and Joe continues.

“But… I wouldn’t care if we had a kid. I mean, I don’t like kids, but I wouldn’t hate my _own_ kid, you know? And… well, I wouldn’t bitch about the weed if it meant keeping our kid safe. Who the ~~fuck~~ would do that?” He ponders, before he shakes his head and continues. “I mean, it’d be kinda cool if you were pregnant. Not that I’m forcing you to bear kids, but if you had another scare, I’m not… I’d be fine with it. And you could talk to me about it instead of trying to get the support of…” He trails off, and Vicky laughs when she realizes that he’s referring to Brendon, Ryan, and Gabe.

“I love you. _Really_. You’re the best boyfriend in the world.” Vicky says, and Joe smiles, “Yeah, yeah, I know. And hey, now that we know you’re not pregnant…” He pulls out a joint from his inner pocket in his jacket, and Vicky nods quickly, “Oh, ~~fuck~~ yeah. After we watch these losers get engaged for real.”

It’s almost like the magic words- because Jon Walker (what a throwback!) runs into the room, and he shouts, “Patrick’s coming up the stairs!”

Everyone jolts into position- Vicky and Co. stand in the back of the room, and Pete moves up a little so that he’s in front of them- he looks a little more dapper than usual, dressed up for the occasion, and he fiddles with a ring box until he hears the door open.

And then a gasp.

Patrick’s hands fly up to cover his mouth, and tears immediately spring to his eyes when he sees the scene in front of him- Pete, with a small box in his hands, all of the flowers surrounding the room, all of his friends there with bottles of apple cider (so the labels say- Gabe was in charge of getting it, so it could very well be champagne) and boxes of cupcakes and cookies.

“Oh my God…” is the only thing that Patrick can bring himself to say, and Pete grins, stepping a little closer to Patrick. He rests the small box on the table, and he takes both of his hands, and holds Patrick’s in them.

“So… I know that we have class in about 5 minutes, so I’m gonna try to make this as quick as possible, okay?” Patrick nods, and so Pete continues. “I know that this isn’t the rooftop of a fancy restaurant but… this is the room where we first met, all of those years ago. And you know me- I love being sentimental and stupid. But anyways- Patrick. _Patrick_. You’re the best ~~fucking~~ person on the planet. And not just because you love me for who I am, and not just because you’ve ~~fucking~~ stood by my side and guided me through the ~~shittiest~~ of days, but because you’re you. I love you for the way that you complain about the musical, I love you for the way that you sing in the car, and I love you for the way that you see the absolute best in people. I love you for the way that you’re so kind, you’re so ~~_fucking_ ~~ kind, and you just- you make me want to be a good person. You make me want to better myself, and you make me want to live. You make me want to keep going, and you just- _Patrick_. I never thought that I’d find someone like you. Someone who makes me feel good. Someone who-“

He gets interrupted by Brendon shouting out, “Pete, we only have 2 minutes left!”

Pete and Patrick both turn to glare at him, and Brendon shrugs. "What?!"

So when Pete turns back around, grabbing the box in the process, he gets down on one knee, not wanting to waste anymore time. And Patrick laughs tearfully when Pete opens the box- the ring is beautiful. It's so simple, which Patrick likes, but it doesn't look boring. It looks just right.

“Well, since we only have 2 minutes left, and since I finally have a ring… Patrick Stump… will you marry me?” Pete asks, batting his eyelashes.

Patrick nods quickly, and he says just as fast, “Yes, _yes_ , you idiot, I’ll marry you!” and then he holds out his hand for Pete to put the ring on as everyone starts cheering for them- Pete’s hands shake slightly as he slides the ring on his ring finger, and when Pete comes back up, Patrick immediately pulls him closer for a passionate kiss.

Everyone keeps cheering for them as they start making out, even as the bell rings. And as everyone scurries out, still calling out variations of "YAY, PETE AND PATRICK!", and as Pete and Patrick keep making out, Brendon pulls Ryan closer to him, and he says, matter-of-factly, “So- you’re next! I was thinking- this was nice and all, but I think I prefer something fancier. Like, ask me on a cruise. Ask me-“

\---

RYAN: ( _speechless_ )

\---

**Author's Note:**

> sorry that was sort of long... i have a lotta love for my eccentric! characters :/ and i love eccentric!peterick more than anything and i really wanted to do their proposal justice. sorry for the cliche "are you cheating on me?!" stuff, im lowkey a sucker for it :/ also im sorry for any horrible typos, ik it's bad but like. i cant edit for my life. 
> 
> as always, leave a prompt if you want, and i'll see if i can do it! i mean, if you leave a prompt asking me to kill off ryan i wouldnt do it... but like ya know.


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